A Day in the Life
by Louis Castiel Williams
Summary: From Super powered criminals to wealthy teenagers trying to become superheroes. These would be exceptional occurrences for your average person. But for a super hero, it's Tuesday. Rated T for vulgar language and suggestive humor and/or dialogue.


Central City Heights, a wonderful place, where filthy rich people could live and enjoy their hedonistic life styles. A place viewed by the working class as the single point of focus for everything that was inadequate about our society.

Here lived a young girl named Megan, she was an eerily pale skinned brunette, who was the heir to a large fortune. She was as pretty as she was vile, and Megan was a sociopath. She wanted to control the planet. Megan always got what she wanted, always, it was either her way or the hard way and her parents never had a choice. Her mother and father had passed away two years ago, her mother died due to an accident in a chilly tasting contest that Megan had entered so she could beat her brother Josh, Megan had tampered with Josh's recipe. Doing so had risked everyone in the crowd contracting liver cancer, thankfully everyone had survived. Except for her mother, who would die sometime after that. Leaving her father to look after the both of them. Unfortunately, her father was never much of a thinker, he'd simply inherited their family's large fortune and didn't know what to do with it. Some point along the line he decided he'd donate half of it to charity, Megan didn't particularly care, but her father never got his chance because he was killed during a fight between the Flash and his rival, the Reverse Flash, who chucked a golf ball at him. Thawne never intended to hit him, but you know the old saying; wrong place, wrong time.

It certainly didn't help that said ball had achieved a speed of mach seven. This left Megan and her older brother Josh as orphans. Josh had always feared Megan, he may have been five years older than his thirteen year old sister, but he knew who she was behind the mask that she always had in front of their parents. Josh was a decent looking young man with short brown hair. He was skinny, weighing around one hundred and forty pounds, and had a very promising future in track and field; which he felt was his only freedom from his disturbing and overbearing little sister.

Josh had been day dreaming about a girl named Amy, they'd met during a track meet in Gotham. Josh had run the one-thousand meter dash in the National Athletes Meet, unfortunately he'd end up taking second, after suffering a shocking defeat at the hands of Bruce Wayne's ward, Richard John Grayson. It was bad enough that Grayson was an Olympic level athlete, but the guy was also an insane track star. Josh had literally been up all night wondering how it was possible for Richard Grayson to come out of nowhere and beat him, to make matters worse, the guy was a sprinter, he'd never run anything longer than a 400 meter dash.

"Josh!"

The eighteen-year old's thought process was interrupted by his sister, Megan. The bane of his existence, the darkness that whispered in his ear.

"What Megan." He spat.

"I'm going to allow you a second attempt at that sentence"

Josh sighed.

"Yes, dear sister"

Megan grinned like the wicked, devil child that her brother knew her to be.

"I'm bored, I want you to call over all of our friends"

"They're your friends Megan, I hate most of them"

Megan's eyes narrowed dangerously, and she frowned. Then her body language changed in order to invoke innocence. It was quite sick really.

"Joshua, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry, would you?" She asked.

Josh's heart sank when he saw that look in her eyes. The last time she made a face like that, he found himself dangling over a shark tank in the Central City Aquarium.

He grabbed his cellphone and started a group chat, with in half an hour four guests had arrived.

The first guest was a girl named Carrie Bradley, she stood at 5'6, weighed 125 pounds and reminded him a lot of Carrie Broadshaw from Sex in the City. She looked and acted the part, EFFORTLESSLY and that wasn't a very good thing either. He never liked Carrie and hoped that Megan would one day decide that something awful happening to Carrie was necessary. Seriously, why would an annoying twat like her deserve billions upon billions of dollars?

The next guest was a kid named Archie. Josh didn't mind Archie, in fact, he appreciate him for not being a total douche like the others. He was just a stoner, the guy lived for weed. His favorite activities included munching on junk food when he was high. Playing video games when he was high and watching television when he was high. His favorite show to watch on television was Family Guy, but let's face it, the latest seasons have been so awful you need to be stoned in order to enjoy such unfunny drivel. Archie, unlike Carrie - Bitch- Bradley, actually said hello to him and even offered him a joint, which Josh respectfully declined.

The third guest was a kid named Charles Harold. This kid, was a dick. He looked like Charlie Sheen, was five feet and ten inches and smelt like the cheapest cologne, which is friggin ironic once you find out how rich the bastard was. He was shallow, arrogant, and devoid of any real redeeming qualities outside of not being a sociopath like his sister Megan. He literally has to pay his girlfriends, yes, girlfriends because he claims that one woman isn't enough booty for him. The women he keeps around told Josh that they don't even have to fake their orgasms for Charlie and frequently put him down in front of company, which is why he never brings them anywhere he goes.

Their little get together goes as expected. Carrie and Charlie argue, while Megan tries to calm the two down without resorting to murder, and Archie is passed out on their couch utterly fucked up. After an hour of listening to their drivel, the three come to conclusion that they should be a superhero team. Which leaves Josh not only shocked but appalled.

"You three as superheroes?" He asked slowly.

"Sure" Charlie replied.

Josh grinned sardonically. He began walking past each of them with his body language imitating that of a military commander. First he stopped at Carrie.

"You're an idiotic, narcissistic bitch with no talent outside of getting plastic surgery and being used as a cock receptacle for any man who gives you five minutes of attention." He told her coldly.

"Hey!" Carrie protested.

"Shut up!" He snarled.

She quickly piped down.

His next target was Charlie.

"You, won't cut it. You don't care about saving the world, and you have to pay women to fuck you,not date, fuck, a dude who can't even talk to girls has no chance of being a superhero" He told Charlie flatly.

Charlie's mouth was left agape.

Then he stopped at Megan and looked her in the eye.

"What game are you playing Megan?"

She simply gave him her pattented innocent church girl grin.

"I just want to help the Justice League"

Josh raised an eyebrow

"You honestly, have me worried" He admitted.

"You shouldn't be" She says in a dangerously low monotone drawl.

* * *

Gotham City - Night Time - Drug Hospital

Waylon Jones was up to no good. He was trying to grab some steroids in order to up the ante in the war against the Bat-Man. He'd killed a pharmacist and threatened another one with violence if she didn't show him where the supplements were hidden. These supplements had a strange affect on his body, due to his condition and he'd become addicted to them.

Unfortunately for Croc, the bane of his existence, the Bat-Man had arrived on the scene and he wasn't happy with the damage Waylon had left in his wake.

"Miss Waylon?" Bruce asked in a emotionally flat tone.

"I was hoping to run into you Bats, we have a score to settle" Jones said cracking his knuckles.

Bat-Man drew two eskrima sticks

"Last I checked, the score was six to zero, my favor"

Jones rushed the vigilante detective, but Bruce was too quick, he dodged Jones' punch and smacked him in the shin with his eskrima stick. He then brought his other available one to Jones' jaw. He then put both of them behind Jones' neck and brought his knee toward his chin, knocking the criminal down. He placed his foot on Jones' throat.

"You need to find a new occupation Waylon" Bruce said as he put his eskrima sticks back.

"Fuck you, Bats" Jones muttered.

Bruce gripped his throat and brought his fist down on Croc's face.

"You killed a man today"

"Do...I...look..like I-ugh" Bruce's grip tightened around Jones' neck.

"No you don't" He replied flatly, then he grinned "I'm going to enjoy listening to you **scream **again, Waylon"

Waylon screamed worst than a little girl watching the exorcist that night, he returned to Arkham with a number of broken bones, from that night on, Jones was no longer able to chew solid food.

Bruce left the building feeling quite satisfied, unfortunately someone had been killed, he understood that he wouldn't be able to save everyone. But if felt good if he could at least make the perpetrator pay for what they did, Waylon Jones certainly wasn't the first criminal on the receiving end of his wrath and wouldn't be the last. He eventually made it back to the Bat-plane, he opened the hatch and it revealed none other than Harley Quinn who was sitting in the driver's seat listening to Fireflies by Owl City.

"Heya Bats, what's gucci? Is that how the kid's say it? Yeah, what's gucci?" She greeted him.

Bruce's eyes narrowed behind his lens, dear god, not Harley Quinn, anyone but Harley Quinn. She had to be the single most annoying person he'd ever met. The single most irritating criminal he's dealt with in Gotham.

Harley seemed completely impervious to Bruce's scrutiny giving him a very affable smile in return. Which further enraged the World's Greatest Detective.

"What do you want, Harleen?"

"Don't you just love Fireflies Bats? It's literally my favorite song right now." She exclaimed.

"Well I don't suppose that it could figuratively be your favorite" Bruce quipped snidely.

Harley frowned at his comment, and then smiled once more

"Oh you and your quips, it's why I love ya so much."

"Since when was I the Joker?"

At the mention of Joker's name, Harley's mood became noticeably darker and her body language became far more cold and imposing as she stood to face Batman.

"Never mention that good for nothing pile-a-crap again." She said in a low menacing growl.

Bruce was taken aback by her sudden mood shift, of course, he'd trained himself to not physically show it, and thankfully he was wearing a mask so she wouldn't notice the micro expression that would appear on his face either.

"He's dead"

"So? Just don't bring him up-" Her mood changed and she became bubbly once more "-Okay pal?"

"We're not friends" Bruce replied coldly.

"Brrr, you're mad aren't you?"

"When am I ever happy?" Bruce replied sounding a lot more emo than he intended "You're going back to Arkham Harleen"

She simply shook her head.

"This isn't up for debate"

"But I'm out for good behavior"

"Bullshit" Harley showed him her certificate as proof, Bruce examined it carefully for several minutes, trying to find any detail that would lead him to believe that this piece of paper was fake " Who did you threaten to kill?"

"No one, I had no weapons. Look I've noticed that your little brother, bird boy grew up, so I figured you could use a new partner."

"You...want to be my side kick, that's the funniest thing I've heard all night"

"I'm serious bats! You no longer have a teenager in red tights following you around, so what reason do you have for not giving me a shot?"

"You want a full list?"

Harley gave him a deadpanned expression.

"Not funny Batman"

"I thought it was" Bruce replied with very little enthusiasm.

"What if I knew your secret identity? Then you'd have to allow me" Harley said.

"Tt, like you could have-"

"Bruce Wayne"

Bruce was quiet for a moment. He was contemplating putting Harleen under some sort of Hypnosis. A quick phone call to Zatanna would easily do the trick. But what's to stop her from solving his identity once again? He couldn't damage her brain, even he wasn't that ruthless. On top of all of that, what right did he have to tamper with another person's memory? Bruce really wished he wasn't a moral person.

He gave Harley his hardest gaze. It would have sent shivers down any other rogue's spine but she was practically immune.

"You and I are going to have a very long discussion Harleen"

Harley was curious.

"Why are you lookin at me like that? Are you checkin me out? Sorry pal, but I don't plan on being added to your growing harem as easily as Pam or Selinamph!"

Bruce placed his glove hand on her mouth and signaled for her to be silent.

* * *

Meanwhile...

Superman and Powergirl are fighting an army of giant lizards in Hong Kong. The two have done their best to minimize damage control, but when confronting targets of this size, it's extremely difficult to prevent various buildings and historical landmarks from being destroyed.

"Giant Lizards in Japan?" Powergirl said as she punched one in the face and snapped the neck of another.

"It's quite poetic, isn't it?" Superman said as he bludgeoned another in the face with a stop-sign, he tore from the ground.

"So, think Ivo's behind this?" Karen asked as she obliterated a group of them with her heat vision.

"Probably not, he still hasn't recovered from the beating he received at the hands of Batman" Superman told her as he picked off a car door and began smashing lizards with it.

"Does Bats, seem like a sadist to you?" Powergirl asked.

"No, not really. What makes you think that?" Kal asked surprised.

"Well, it's just...he has this frigtening grin on his face when he ever he dishes out a serious ass whooping to anyone responsible for particularly heinous crimes."

"Well if they hadn't brought that upon themselves, they would never have to confront the nightma-I mean, icon of justice that is the Bat-Man"

Suddenly, the mutated lizards attacking the city started dying left and right. From Kal and Kara's viewpoint it looked as though their hearts had been stopped, even more interesting, these creatures seemed to act like a hive mind, like bees.

"Wow, does this feel a little too convenient?" Karen asked.

"You're welcome" Dr. Light said as she began to descend towards the Two Kryptonians.

"We're welcome, we were busy saving all these people from a threat. That you-" Power Girl said pointing a finger at her fellow costumed crime fighter "-should have been fighting"

"I was fighting it!" Kimiyo replied smacking Karen's hand out of her face.

"I didn't see you." Karen replied.

Kal decided to stay out of this, he reasoned that it was better to simply observe than get in the middle of two heroes who frequently butted heads.

"I was fighting it at it's source, the lizards would have never stopped coming if I didn't destroy the source of the problem. Which was a large facility that acted as a hive network. As soon as I located it, I swiftly dispatched the unimportant mad scientist behind this travesty and destroyed the generator that was popping these things out."

"What kind of generator works like that?" Kal asked.

"I'm not too sure; it was built like a three dimensional printer" Kimiyo explained.

"Couldn't you have just said 3-d?" Karen asked.

"Unless you have anything of value to impute to this conversation, shut your mouth"

Karen was livid, if Clark wasn't here she would have punched this woman so hard she would've woke up in Tokyo.

"Listen here you bi-"

"Karen!" Clark admonished "Language, please"

"Clark I-" Karen was interrupted again by an intermission they received on their Justice League communicators.

"This is Batman. I need all members to report to the Watch Tower Immediately. If you are busy I require that you report after you have fulfilled your respective quota- what? How did you even free yourself?"

"My puddin use to put me through stuff like this all the time! For me, this is foreplay!"

Clark, Karen, and Kimiyo stared at the communicator in bewilderment."

"Batman, urgh, out!"

"Wonder what that was all about" Karen commented.

"I should probably go find out" Clark said.

"I'll come along too" Karen said.

"Wait? Aren't you going to help clean up this mess?" Dr. Light asked.

Clark zipped off at Mach 4, and Karen flipped off Kimiyo before doing the same.

"I WILL END YOU!" Kimiyo shouted in rage, scaring nearby civilians.

* * *

Back in Central City...

Megan's guests had left the mansion and once again the only people there were herself and Josh. Josh had been suspicious of her all day and wanted to know the truth behind her deciding to be a superhero. He knew his sister wouldn't do it out of the goodness in her black heart. None of them would, with Megan there was always an ulterior motive. The only question that remained;what was it this time?

Josh confronted Megan in her room, she had been sitting on her bed listening to the mp3 app on her cellphone.

"I know you're up to something Megan" He said crossing his arms.

"My dear brother, what ever could you mean?" Megan asked playing coy.

"Cut the crap, the others are doing this as a publicity stunt, they're narcissists after fame. You on the other hand, you're a different"

"A monster?"

"More or less"

Megan took off her headphones, put them in their case, turned off her phone and began to lie down on her bed.

"Josh, I'm not interested in listening to any of your accusations. Make yourself scarce before I decide to punish you"

Josh reluctantly began to leave but before he closed the door, he looked over his shoulder.

"You're going to burn like the wicked witch you are one day"

"Five..."

He immediately closed the door and ran down the hall. Megan grinned to herself. Her brother's act of bravado was hilariously transparent, not to mention he had the worst poker-face she'd ever seen.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Guys, I decided to try a new kind of story with a different kind of antagonist. I miss the days of old when Superhero comics weren't doom and gloom, but were actually a lot of fun. Hence the goal of this story.**

**I can assure that other DC related characters will make an appearance.**

**Also, the Original Characters in this story are actually expy's of various characters from TV shows who have gone under serious flanderization. Except for Archie.  
**

**Hint: There names are the first names of characters from three different tv comedy programs. Two were from a single good one, the other two were from two questionably bad ones respectively. **

**I await your reviews, and if you have any original ideas, feel free to share them.**

**Until next time, peace. **


End file.
